Writing always helps me feel better by helping me work through my troubles.
I am anxious.
As always.
I'm very anxious about not being good enough for med-school. I wasn't smart when I first started out at Weber, and I failed quite a bit of classes. Now that I have decided to do better, I'm worried that my GPA will never be good enough. I know that it'll be easier to get into a D.O. program, but I want to be Andrea Done, M.D., not Andrea Done, D.O. It just doesn't sound as cool!!! That and surgery fields are more for M.D.s, not D.O.s
I failed my first Chem exam. Well, I didn't fail, I got a 73.9%, but that's still failing in my book. It brought my grade down to a B-, and I'm really upset about it. I thought I knew everything, but I get I got over confident and messed up with my sig figs. I dunno this for sure, but I'm almost positive it was the sig figs. It's the thing that I've had the least practice with since the homework site doesn't really count them. I'm just really pissed that something so simple could've messed up my work. It was my fault for not paying enough attention to my work, but I'm still super upset about it. I'll just have to do better next time.
I guess doing so poorly just kinda made me doubt myself again. But one exam does not mean I'm not a good candidate. It doesn't mean I can't bring up my grade. It doesn't mean I'm not good enough. So why do I feel like I'm not good enough because of it? I guess I'm just so nervous in general that even one little mistake is going to make me feel like I suck and like I don't deserve to be a pre-med student.
Reading over it makes me feel like an idiot. I shouldn't have to feel this way. It's silly. If I take this as a learning experience to make sure I apply myself better next time, I can learn and grow from it. It's not something to be ashamed of as long as it doesn't happen again. I can, and will, do this!!! I just have to work harder at it.
I'm going to ace my next Chem exam. I'm also going to ace my next Psych exam, like I did with my first one, and ace the Math one I need to take this Saturday. I'm going to do just fine. I may not be the best, but I'll be damned if I don't try!!! I don't have to be perfect, I just have to try, and if that's not good enough, well, maybe then I'll reassess my fictional finalism.
Heh, Adler.
I'm also going to ace my first ASL exam, which I'm a little nervous about, but I'm sure I'll do fine, since it's pretty easy so far. I just have to remember all the signs!!! :)
I'm really blessed to be living here in America. I'm very blessed that my parents brought me here, to the land of opportunity. If I haven't moved here, I wouldn't have received the amazing education I'm getting, compared to Peru at least. I can't let myself ruin this amazing opportunity that the Goddess has provided me with.
I just wish I felt like... I was meant to be called a pre-med student. Not just a wanna-be that's trying because she held a brain and felt in love with it.
Or maybe that's what makes me a pre-med student; the fact that I LOVED the brain and everything about it. After all, isn't that why I wanted to go into medicine in the first place?
Brains.
I love them.
Everything about them.
And one day, I'm gonna operate on them. Am I using the right word? Eh, I like that word. I'll use it even if it's not the correct terminology.
I learned English.
I learned Math.
I'll learn Chemistry.
I'll learn everything med schools want me to learn.
I am awesome.
I just have to remember that.
And believe it.
Love,
Andrea~!
