Upset

So today was my first day at work.

Worst. Day. Ever.

I barely learned anything.

All I did was take stupid things online and the register. I'm not even supposed to be on POS!!! I'm supposed to only use them for back up!!! I didn't even learn anything about doing other things, like recovering or how to search for things in the back room. I felt like they didn't even take the time to teach me. I mean, I know they want me to do the whole "yes we can" shit but could they at least teach me ONCE how to do it before they send me off to learn on my own?

I mean, if they just taught me ONCE how to do everything, I'd be more at ease with doing "yes we can" stuff. I would at least know A LITTLE BIT so I could be able to do my own thing and help customers. But they don't do that, now, do they? I dunno, maybe it's just because the supervisor that was meant to help me wasn't all that willing to help. But that upsets me because it makes ME look bad. I mean, she called me a "quiet one" and asked how "we could've hired a quiet one." It's seriously making me re-think I deserve this job.

Do they really expect me to jump right on everything and learn everything on my own when I don't even know where things are? I need at least ONE WHOLE DAY of GOOD training to at least know the BASICS so I can do things on my own. Yes, I was kinda quiet today, but that was because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I was nervous, to the point where I got panic attacks in my sleep last night. I mean, IT'S NOT NORMAL. I WANT to LOVE this job as much as I loved worked at Double Scoop, but how can I do that when I feel they don't care enough about training someone? Maybe I'm just a slow learning, but c'mon, they should be able to at least help me a little bit. When I DID ask for help, I felt like they were getting tired of me. Well, do you want me to ask questions and make sure I know what I'm doing, or make mistakes and lose the company money? Ugh, I'm just so frustrated that I can't sleep!!!

I want to talk to Amber about it, because I trust her and I feel comfortable with her, but I'm not sure how to do that. I guess I just need to be more assertive. Whatever the case, I'm going to see if I can either go in early before my next shift, not for another whole week, btw, or just stop by sometime before then. I just wish I felt like they were interested enough in me as I am in them. I do want to learn, and I do want to be the best employee they've ever had, but how can I do that when I have no idea what I'm doing? How can I help a customer when I know as much as they do about things?

I just dunno what to do. I'm frustrated, I'm crying, and I just REALLY wish I hadn't applied there. Maybe my things IS to help with animals or work at small stores. I don't like these mega-corporations that don't take the time of day to help out an associate in need. I dunno, maybe I'm just over-reacting because I dunno how to act in such an environment. Maybe I'm comparing it to the deli too much.

Wish Double Scoop was still open.

I wish that every since day of my life.

But I know it's never going to happen.

Love,
Andrea~!

Lagoon

So, we went to Lagoon yesterday.

It was a lot of fun.

We caught up with Chelsea and Shaylee and we had a lot of fun. I'm gonna miss Chels when she leaves though. Hell, I miss her already. I don't think I've appreciated her enough because I figured she would always be here, but I had forgotten that people grow up and move, I suppose. I just wish we had more time; it feels like the thirteenth came up way too fast. It IS coming up way too fast... and I don't want it to.

After they left, Steven and I just wondered around and went to a few more rides. I think we only got to do two before the park closed, plus the bounce back thing so I could come back tomorrow and spend more time with Steven and possibly Chelsea and her friend. I think Lexi might come too, but I'm not sure right now.

It was a fun day though. Steven and I got to relax and see all the pretty lights of the park from the sky ride before we went home. It was awesome, even though I didn't think it was the prettiest thing out there. I guess it was more important to be with him than looking at the lights anyway.

Overall, it was an amazing day. I hope we have as much fun doing it tomorrow as we did yesterday.

Love,
Andrea~!