My life isn't exactly twisted, cracked, and hopelessly broken, but it sure feels like it. Not because it is, but because of how my mind sees it. This blog will probably be about how I see my life and how I feel every day. It's a place to let my mind wonder and talk about everything I think about. My fears, my stories, my dreams, my goals, everything. It will probably be very depressing, but I will talk about happy things every now and then. If you don't like my posts, don't read. Rather than hate, you can just go do something else. Simple as that.
So, let's begin.
Last night:
I couldn't sleep. Again. I kept tossing and turning. I kept waking up. I felt uncomfortable. My lower wisdom tooth, the one on the left, is coming in, and it's really painful. To make matters worse, the one on the right is wanting to come in as well. I'm out of Ibuprofen, so I'm in some major pain.
This morning:
Steven woke me up when he got up to go to work. Not that I was sleeping all that soundly beforehand anyway. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't, as always. Sometimes I wonder if I'm some sort of mythical creature that is meant to never sleep. I've had trouble sleeping since I've been really young. But anyway, I tried to go back to sleep, and I couldn't. About half an hour later, my dad wakes up. Why he wasn't at work I didn't quite bothered to ask, because he started annoying me right away. He was being loud, trying to get my sister to wake up for some reason. He's REALLY annoying. Sometimes I wish he was a mute so I never had to hear the stupid things he has to say. So, I drag myself upstairs and tell him to shut up. He blames me for not going to bed early. Of course, it's useless to argue, but I do it anyway. I tell him I went to bed early and that it's not my fault I can't sleep. Whatever. He was annoying my cat, so I grabbed him and just went back downstairs. I wanted to go back to bed, but I knew it was impossible, so I just turned on the teli and watched Food Network. I like that channel. It entertains me.
Right now, besides writing this, I'm looking at my cat. He's by far my most prized possession. He's my best friend, he's always here for me, and he always know what to do when I'm sad. I have a true passion for animals. What can I say? I think they're better than humans. I just think they're nicer, and that they don't try to kill each other just because they have different religious views. I wish I was more like my cat. He doesn't worry about things like school, or how skinny he needs to be to look good, or whether someone is a bad person or not. He doesn't listen to sad news, he doesn't hear about animals getting hurt, he doesn't have to deal with parents yelling at you for no reason. If I was like my cat, I wouldn't care about a person's views, or looks, or thoughts. I would just be concerned on how nice they are to me. If they're mean or annoying, I would hurt them and run away. If they were nice, I would show them some love. I would play, eat, sleep, be cute, be annoying, and wrestle with the dog.
Yeah, I talk about cats a lot. I love every animal out there. Except bugs... I don't like those. But I do respect them. I don't think it's right for me to kill anything, no matter how annoying. If I see a spider, I'll make Steven get it out of the room rather than end its life. Maybe I just think everything has a right to live? Animals anyway. I'm not so caring about humans. I have a twisted view on them, but that's for another day.
I volunteer at an animal shelter. I love volunteering. It brings me great joy to know that I can do something to help cute little animals find a forever home. Even though I do it for them, I think I do it for me too. Helping the cats and playing with them brings me happiness and keeps me sane. Whenever I have a hard day, all I have to do is see my babies and I'll immediately feel better. Maybe it's the unconditional love they give me, or maybe it's knowing they won't judge me. I don't care what the reason is, though. I'm just happy that it happens.
I actually went to volunteer yesterday. We have seven kittens total. We had eight, but little miss Chloe got adopted yesterday. The kittens are a handful, but they're so freaking cute!!! I'm hoping to bring a camera with me soon so I can take pictures and share them on here. Who knows, maybe someone will see it and adopt them.
I also went up to the school to finish financial aid stuff for upcoming year. I made an appointment to talk to the pre-med advisor. I hope he/she can help me with my career choices. I'm nervous, to say the least, but to freak out about it won't do me any good. Unfortunately, I made a mistake, and made an appointment the day my grandmother comes to visit from Peru. I might miss picking her up at the airport. I will try my hardest to make it though. I just hope things work out.
Plans for today:
Probably nothing. There is a Zumba class going on today. I'm gonna make my mum come with me so we can do some cardio. I didn't get to work out much yesterday besides walking, so I'm kinda upset about that. But walking is an exercise, right? So I guess it still counts. As of tomorrow, I've been working out for a month straight. I'm proud of myself. I want to keep going. Now I just gotta work on my diet. It's not that it's bad, because it's not, but it could be a lot better.
Wow, my thoughts are really scattered. Doesn't matter though, it's not an essay. Guess that's all I have to talk about today. Not that interesting, but eh, I don't care. This is for me more than for anybody else.
Love,
Andrea~!
