Life and Hope

Life is hard.

Sometimes it feels like life just doesn't want us to succeed.

We were having a great day yesterday. Steven and I went on a little date to Zuppa's and hung out for a while. We had great food, we were both in a great mood, and we were enjoying each other's company. Everything was wonderful.

And then...

Steven told me his recruiter had told him that because of his medical record stating that he had debilitating migraines, he had a 25% chance to get accepted into the Air Force.

Sigh.

Just when we were thinking we'll be able to take a step forward, life has to throw us back again and make things hard. Oh well. That's just how it is. Now I'm trying to figure out what we can do to make things happen. We talked to an advisor on the Air Force page and he mentioned that although there's no way to clear it from his record, he can go to a specialist and get a second opinion. If the result is positive, he can submit that diagnosis in along with the first one and hope for the best.

It's rather discouraging.

Going to a specialist will be costly, mostly because we don't know what he needs to do to be able to make a better diagnosis. It could be an MRI, or CAT scan, or whatever. So the news just aren't the best right about now. It's really sad for me because I know how much Steven wants to join. Nothing will make him happier than to be able to serve his country, and now we have to wait and hope that the MEPS doctor will still approve of him joining or give him a waiver.

We're kinda hoping for a Captain America doctor; you know, like when he let what's his name join even though he was super short and scrawny? Yeah, that kind of doctor. It might be possible, I mean, they weren't debilitating really, they were mostly annoying, and he hasn't had them for over a year. I understand why they need to be careful with someone like that, but I'm hoping they'll understand and let him go through with it anyway.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist.

Steven still wants to go through with it. I want to say that I agree, but I'm not sure if it's a great idea if the chances of him getting accepted are slim. The other side of me wants to say, sure, go ahead, it's worth a shot, but I think other more pessimistic side is winning right now.

It's not that I don't believe in him, it's just that I don't believe in people giving very many chances, especially not with this sort of thing. I think the Military would be happy to have Steven join; he's great at what he does, and he's a very hard worker with tons of love for his country. I want them to see that, but how can we make them see it when they might not even look at him and only look at his record?

Bottom line, Steven's going to try anyway.

I'm proud of him for that, and I guess it's okay for him to have an oh well rather than a what if. I just don't want to get my hopes up again. I wish things were easier for us right now, but I also know that it's not the end of the world. It kinda just feels like it because it's what I'm living right about now. However, I'm thankful for everything we have and that we are healthy, because there are other people out there who are suffering and have it way worse than we do.

Compared to them, this is a walk in the park.

Or whatever other saying people use...

I just pray to the Goddess that she will shine her ever shining light upon us and help us get through with this, and that the outcome will be favorable.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

And if it's not, I'll be kinda pissed.

And sad.

Love,
Andrea~!