Letting Go

So we gave up our duckling today.

It was sad.

We cried yesterday but not today.

I got to kiss his/her little head good-bye.

Okay, now I'm gonna cry.

It's sad. Really sad. I loved that duckling. Unfortunately, it's illegal to keep Mallards. We couldn't have gotten a license to raise them, mostly because we have no money at the moment, but also because we wouldn't be able to raise them right. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do so far. Letting go is never easy, but sometimes, it's for the best. We knew we couldn't raise that duckling without other ducklings, and we knew we couldn't torture ourselves every day by having the heater on in the room to keep him/her warm. As much as we love that little duck, it was time for it to find a new home.

And he/she did. We took him to this bird rehabilitation center up in Ogden. Wouldn't you know it, it was the same place where we adopted our Stevey-kins. It's no longer an animal shelter, but we're happy to know it still serves as a place to help animals. The lady was really nice, and she let me give him a little kiss on his/her little head before she took him/her. I thought I might cry right then and there, but I kept it together. It's hard though.

The room isn't the same without him/her. No peeping, no noises of the little thing walking around the bed, or trying to get out of the box. Oh god I'm gonna cry again. The worse part is that all the birds we hear sound JUST like him/her. It's like they taunt us. It's kinda nice now that it's night time though. No birds making noise now. I hope tomorrow will be better. Less sad and depressing. The good thing is that we can now spend all the time with our cat.

Stevey was feeling kinda sad because we wouldn't let him in the room. Now that the little duckling is gone, we can let him come back in here. He did come into room for a little while after we got back from the rehabilitation center, but he was kinda scared. I guess he just doesn't like change. He hasn't really come back into the room since then though. I guess it's all right, he'll come downstairs eventually.

I miss my ducky.

I'll always miss him.

I think the hardest thing is that we will never know what happens to him/her. We will never even know if it was a boy or a girl. I guess that's the price we had to pay to make sure it was all right. Sad though. The only thing we can do know is hope for the best and that it will live a long and happy life. Who knows, maybe one day we might find him/her at the Layton Park. I hope so, because that's where we like to go watch the duckies and swans. Sigh.

Life is tough.

Love,
Andrea~!