Beautiful Life

Life has been pretty good to me lately.

My husband texted me not too long ago to let me know we were moving to Stonehenge.

I guess it's an apartment complex in Taylorsville.

The reason? They get faster internet.

Oh, Steven...

I love you, but sometimes, you're just weird...

Anyway, I've been working on my pre-med preparations. I've found a hospice to volunteer at and I have made one appointment with a doctor, thanks to my Uncle Rob, for Tuesday that will allow me to shadow him for a few hours. I continue doing my volunteer work for the shelter while I train for the hospice work so I can still get my hours in, but I'm taking Sundays and Wednesdays off so I'm not too overwhelmed once school starts. I hope to be able to volunteer at least eight hours a week total; five at the shelter and should be about two or three with whatever hospice patient I go visit. Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous and scared.

I thought the concept of hospice was to just go visit elderly people, but it turns out it's people of any age... who have six months or less to live. I'm extremely saddened by this; I don't want to get attached to someone who is going to die in less than six months. It would hurt terribly to lose them... however, I do need to get comfortable around death, since I will have to deal with it once I'm a doctor. Especially since I will be, hopefully, performing brain surgery on my patients; there's a very high risk of malpractice, and although I don't wish to lose anyone on the operating table, things happen, and I will have to be prepared. Still, it doesn't make me feel any better knowing the person I help will die soon.

The one thing that keeps me calm is knowing that I will be keeping them company and hopefully brightening their day a little better. I hope to learn a lot from them, and maybe even get over my fear of dying. I hope that, somehow, they can help me figure out whether or not there's something on the other side. I think that may be my biggest fear; not existing any more. I hope that, somehow, they will shed some light on their thoughts and perhaps put me more at ease with it, and maybe, just maybe, I will figure out that there is some place our soul goes, and that we don't just stop existing.

Anyway, too depressing.

It's been a good day, and I'm excited as to what the future holds. I'm really looking forward to doing all the great things life has in store for me. I do hope I can become a GREAT doctor that can help a lot of patients; I'm sick of seeing people suffer, and I WANT to end that kind of suffering to the best of my ability, especially when it comes to the most delicate and complicated part of our body, the brain.

Life just couldn't get any better.

I just wish I could make peace with a few things from my past so I could thoroughly enjoy my time on this earth. The past keeps creeping its ugly head back and biting me when I least expect it. That IS life though, so I supposed I will just have to learn how to deal with it and move on. If the Goddess allows me to fix my errors, then I will, but until then, there's no reason to worry about a past that I can't change.

Oh! I adopted a kitten out yesterday!

I'm a little sad because I wanted her to go with her brother, but I'm sure he can benefit from being on his own. I am kinda nervous that mama cat is gonna miss her babies once my other kitten gets adopted though, so we'll see what happens. The foster mum said that it shouldn't be a problem, but it still worries me. I worry too much about everything!!!

I need to go back to yoga and learn to relax!!!

Love,
Andrea~!